Depression and Disconnection: What Military Families Face After Moving

Moving is a fact of life for military families. Whether it’s across the country or overseas, Permanent Change of Station (PCS) orders come with little room for negotiation—and even less time to adjust. While many civilians view moving as a major life event, military families often undergo this upheaval every two to three years. These frequent transitions come with hidden costs: strained relationships, disrupted routines, lost social networks, and most concerning of all: declining mental health.

Military family depression after moving is more than just a tough adjustment period. It’s a real and persistent mental health concern that affects spouses, children, and even service members themselves. At Advantage TMS, we understand that behind each PCS order is a family doing its best to stay strong—but often in silence. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, isolated, or unlike yourself after a military relocation, you are not alone and you deserve support.

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The Unique Stressors of Military Relocation

According to the Department of Defense, roughly one-third of military families receive PCS orders each year. These relocations are considered a normative part of military life, yet they carry disruptions that can affect military families for months—or years.

Military families are required to uproot their entire lives with each move. This includes finding new housing, enrolling children in new schools, setting up new healthcare arrangements, and leaving behind meaningful friendships. Employment is another major concern; military spouses frequently have to pause or abandon their careers due to licensing differences or job market limitations in the new location.

Housing in particular is a growing issue. According to the 2022 Blue Star Families’ Military Family Lifestyle Survey, concerns around the insufficiency of the Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) have risen dramatically, with many families unable to find safe, affordable homes within budget. Over 75% of survey respondents reported their BAH was insufficient for local market costs, forcing them to pay out of pocket or settle for housing far below acceptable standards. 

These financial and logistical burdens take a toll on morale and military family mental health. Constant instability—especially when combined with unclear timelines and long waitlists for housing—can lead to feelings of helplessness, exhaustion, and emotional withdrawal. It’s no wonder many families report symptoms of military family depression after moving.

The Emotional Fallout: Isolation and Identity Loss

The logistical chaos of moving is only half the battle. The emotional toll is often more difficult to see and harder to recover from.

Military families face a recurring cycle of goodbyes. Spouses must leave behind communities where they’ve built trust and support. Children lose friends, teachers, and the familiar comfort of a known routine. Even within the military community, building lasting relationships becomes difficult when you know another move is just a few years away.

This revolving door lifestyle fosters chronic disconnection. Over time, the emotional labor of starting over again and again can feel unbearable. Many spouses report feelings of invisibility and loss of self. Without stable employment, social ties, or extended family nearby, they may question their sense of identity and worth.

In one study on military partner psychological distress conducted by the University of Colorado and George Mason University, researchers found that difficulties stemming from PCS moves—including employment disruption, loss of social support, and limited access to healthcare—were a stronger predictor of depression in military partners than even deployment separation or service member PTSD.

In other words, it’s not just the absence of a deployed spouse that causes emotional pain; it’s the cumulative effect of being asked to rebuild a life, repeatedly, without adequate support.

The Impact on Children and Parenting Stress

Children are not immune to the stress of relocation. Research shows that military children may change schools up to nine times before graduation. Being the “new kid” becomes the norm, along with the anxiety, insecurity, and academic instability that follow.

Routines are essential for young people, but PCS moves dismantle them. Children may act out, regress developmentally, or experience physical symptoms like stomachaches and insomnia. For some, these are early signs of depression or anxiety that go unnoticed, especially if their parents are also struggling.

Meanwhile, the at-home parent is tasked with keeping everything afloat: unpacking boxes, managing the household, navigating new medical providers, and serving as both caregiver and emotional anchor. This overwhelming mental load can lead to exhaustion, irritability, and emotional numbness. When depression sets in for both parent and child, it creates a feedback loop that can be difficult to break.

Military family depression after moving isn’t just about sadness; it’s about survival under unrelenting pressure.

Why Families Often Delay Seeking Support

Despite growing awareness, many military spouses are still reluctant to seek help for depression. There’s often a fear that showing emotional vulnerability will reflect poorly on the service member, potentially affecting their career trajectory or promotion potential. This stigma leads many spouses to suffer in silence.

In some cases, access to mental health care is also interrupted during a PCS move. Waiting lists for therapy providers, confusion over transferring care, or the loss of previously trusted clinicians can cause families to delay seeking support when they need it most.

Organizations like Military OneSource offer counseling and mental health navigation services, but the burden of coordinating care still falls on already-exhausted families.

Finding Relief Through TMS Therapy

If you’ve tried counseling or medication and still feel stuck, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) therapy may offer new hope. TMS is a non-invasive, FDA-cleared treatment for depression that uses magnetic pulses to activate areas of the brain shown to be underactive in people with depression. It’s drug-free, doesn’t interfere with your daily routine, and is especially helpful for treatment-resistant depression. TMS therapy is now FDA-cleared for depression treatment in patients ages 15 and up, making it a solution your whole family could benefit from. 

At Advantage TMS, we specialize in supporting military families. We accept Tricare and Champ VA for our TMS treatments. Our family-friendly clinic understands the unique challenges military families face, including those related to relocation stress and emotional burnout. If military family depression after moving has left you feeling disconnected, we’re here to help you reconnect: with your purpose, your peace, and your sense of self.

Building a Better Foundation After the Move

Healing starts with recognizing that your emotions are a normal response to an abnormal situation—and that there is hope and treatment available. It’s okay to mourn what you left behind. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by all that lies ahead.

Here are a few small but powerful ways to support your mental wellness after a PCS move:

  • Rebuild your routines. Even small consistencies—like mealtime rituals or weekend walks—can create a sense of normalcy for the whole family.

  • Connect locally. Whether it’s through your installation’s community center, your child’s school, or a local support group, don’t wait to reach out.

  • Prioritize mental health care. Schedule your appointments early, and don’t let the PCS shuffle delay treatment.

  • Talk about it. Normalize conversations about emotions in your home. This is a life skill that will help your kids in the moment and for the rest of their lives.

You Don’t Have to Start Over Alone

PCS orders may be non-negotiable, but depression doesn’t have to be a permanent side effect. If you are experiencing military family depression after moving, help is available. Advantage TMS offers compassionate, effective care tailored to the unique needs of military families navigating constant change.

You’ve moved for duty. Now, it’s time to move toward healing. If you’re feeling disconnected or struggling to cope, reach out now. Call us at (727) 609‑3657 or schedule your free TMS consultation online to try TMS therapy for treatment-resistant depression today.

Sources

  1. Tong, P. K., Payne, L. A., Bond, C. A., Meadows, S. O., Lewis, J. L., Friedman, E. M., & Maksabedian Hernandez, E. J. (2018). Enhancing family stability during a permanent change of station: A review of disruptions and policies (RAND Research Report RR‑2304). RAND Corporation. https://doi.org/10.7249/RR2304 
  2. Blue Star Families, Department of Applied Research, & The D’Aniello Institute for Veterans & Military Families, Syracuse University. (2023). Military Family Lifestyle Survey Spring 2023 comprehensive report [PDF]. Blue Star Families. https://bluestarfam.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/BSF_MFLS_Spring23_Full_Report_Digital.pdf
  3. Ribeiro, S., Renshaw, K. D., & Allen, E. S. (2023). Military‑related relocation stress and psychological distress in military partners. Journal of Family Psychology, 37(1), 45–53. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0001030 

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